Do you feel drawn to art but find it difficult to follow your artistic path?
In childhood, we experience the wonderful freedom of creative expression. Children draw, paint, sculpt spontaneously, not to create a masterpiece but simply because they ‘have to.’ Yet later in life, we become afraid to dare. Too often we are taught to exchange playfulness and joy for the pursuit of perfection.
When we explore our life story and trace the thread back, we may discover our inner artist patiently waiting to be let out of its cage. Or crying out loud to be heard!
How do we get blocked?
In childhood, creating is just as natural as breathing. Art forms a rich language and an essential expression of the child’s inner being. Until the young person experiences a rejection by a well-meaning adult. How many of us have received those harsh, critical comments from our parents or teachers? How many of us have become insecure and have perhaps given up the creative path altogether. Our inner artist got hurt, lost their confidence and we have become too shy to share our talents with the world. Perhaps we are now trying to take our second chance in life to once again embark on the magical journey with arts.
How long does it take to admit the deep longing in our soul? How much courage does it take to start creating again and share our artwork with the world? How many times do we feel jealous of others able to paint/sing/dance?
Artist's insecurity
Even if we pursue a career of a professional artist, the gremlins of our insecurity may directly affect our value, financial estimate of our work and our ability to stick with our own vision when we feel under pressure from our commissioners. We may be so eager to please, to create that one perfect piece that we lose the sense of our true self. Instead of embracing the artistic failures as playful experiments, we may succumb to excessive self-criticism and blocking of natural creative energies. Does pursuing perfection get the better of you? (Likewise haha.)
Personal story leads us on
However, our personal story may become a new impetus for the artistic path. My own losses, grief and mental health burn out led me to a different form of art. When I was fighting the odds of fertility, I lost interest in the commercial artistic work. I was working as a designer and illustrator but found the work too superficial and personally unfulfilling at that time. I just didn’t know why I was creating anymore and felt there had to be more to art than making something that sells.
That’s when I discovered Therapeutic arts. My intuition led me to a unique college called Tobias School of Art & Therapy in East Grinstead and I delved into arts on a deep, emotional level. Encouraged by the tutors, I started to journal and have discussions with my artwork. Therefore, I learned to communicate with my own inner being. It was showing me in raw images of grief and I realised that I had suppressed effects of an intimate trauma.
The artwork led me out of that dark place and eventually created the bones of my exhibition and book The Grieving Mother. I called it a social art therapy project, inspired by other artists who worked openly with their mental health.
I found during the exhibition, that people did not as much comment on the artwork but on their own experiences of grief. Exposing myself allowed others to share their heart-breaking stories and that filled me with a sense of meaning and fulfillment.
Creative community
Although the exhibition was a success, I was honestly worried who would employ me whilst publicly admitting to a mental health breakdown. So a job interview with a charity that specialised in Art & Wellbeing came as a surprise. At Inside Out Community, I didn’t have to hide my story. In fact, it was beneficial to talk openly about my emotional and mental health as it gave permission to others to open up about their wellbeing. Working with many talented artists, we focused on positive, healing effects of arts. In the 5 years of my stay with Inside Out Community, I saw the members become confident artists, taking part in exhibitions, some becoming volunteers or running workshops for others with our help. Some even began studying art at university level and got involved in commissions and social projects. Our creative community was an incubator, the arts have worked their way through us and the creative process like a river moving us further in the path of life. This work is now continued in the wonderful creative work of mums at Beam.
Therapeutic arts
Two years ago I also matured out of the organisation, and left to practise what I preached – self-care and finding a more balanced way of life. I now work as a therapeutic arts counsellor in a private practice and with various charity organisations. I strive to continue in my own artistic practice and I’m working on a number of self-initiated projects, fuelled by my journey with grief.
The messy life of an artist
So the life of an artist can be a bit messy. Physically and in a personal life. Washing brushes in the sink with of pan of scrambled eggs? Trying to finish taxes on the eve of 31st Jan? The amount of new projects started with enthusiasm, only to be left on a large pile of UFOs – as my dear friend Maggie S. says, UnFinished objects. And the pay can be disheartening… art is often undervalued as are the artists…
Is there even a point to creating art in this day and age, when we can print off a beautiful artwork for free of the internet, when the shops are filled with mass manufactured cheap replicas of paintings. Why paint if AI can create a flawless image in a fragment of time. Why write when the internet is already filled with numerous e-books and blogs. What’s the point, you may ask.
What's the point of art?
The point is that the art wants to be created through us. It stalks us, the creator, in our dreams and thoughts. Our inner artist wants to be heard and seen. Each one of us can offer a unique perspective of life, one that is only visible from our view point. Our sensitivity is needed in this world ruled by rational science. Our sensual perceptions and our human feelings are essential as an antidote to the soul-less idea of perfection. Even as a digital artist, you are inserting your unique spark into the world of art. But equally, just picking up a pair of knitting needles and knitting a tiny square for ‘the never to be finished quilt blanket’, can be so satisfying.
So what kind of artwork shall we pursue? Instead of chasing the new best technique, can we just sit down and start unravelling the golden thread in our art? What led us to art in the first place? What gives us joy? How do we serve our inner artist?
It's not the result that matters
For in there lies a key to art (according to my observations) – it’s not the result that matters but the process and how it makes us feel. Each art is a unique work of co-creation with ourselves, the materials and the life itself. It leads us to a new destination, if we dare and give ourselves to the creative process. It has the power to make us feel whole and fulfilled. Art has the capacity to make this world a more beautiful and meaningful place. And the great artwork at the end is an added bonus.
These thoughts on art were delivered as talk at the Creative Business Event at Foxyard Studio in Stowmarket, followed by an experiential workshop ‘Meet your Inner Artist’ which will feature in the next blog post.
